Don’t Smile, You’re Not on Camera

"Smiling", like "Thank You" (previous post) has been thoroughly encouraged, the more the better. But there is one kind of smile that one should always avoid: the "Insecurity-Smile" (more popularly called the sheepish smile). 

There is a section of people who smile all the time, and the smile doesn’t come out of a relaxed confidence self, but from a strong discomfort. These people keep smiling, on every instance. Suppose a group of people are sitting and gossiping, there will be one guy who will be 'bogus-smiling' to all the silliest jokes, not exactly because he enjoys them but because he wants to be liked by the person and the group, especially if the person making the so called jokes is of good importance. And chances are this guy is new to the group, and in efforts to win the belief of "belonging", he will keep doing it, sometimes even going overboard by unknowingly smiling to something which wasn't meant to be smiled at. When we want to be liked by people and are not confident with our own natural self, we keep smiling to make up for the shortcoming. Another one: four people are playing billiards and one keeps hitting in the clumsiest manner, he still smiles, after each one of these shots, this could be accounted as a last ditch attempt from the subconscious to save oneself from the embarrassment. Subconscious perceives smile as something that adds up a good deal of positive value, which it does, but what one doesn’t realize is that, the Insecurity-Smile is never taken as well as the controlled mild smile, which would clearly not fit in an occasion as this. 

Courtesy: Magda Indigo

On the first day of work, an employee from a relatively smaller firm, has good chances of "Insecurity-Smiling" to everyone (including the janitor and the watchman), because it will take him time to absorb that he belongs to this huge firm, until then he will keep smiling to cover up for his lack of confidence of the sense of belonging and in the bid to increase social acceptance at the work place.

You must have most certainly come across shy people who smile all the time (could be you too), because shyness comes out of lack of confidence facing people, a lingering feeling that one is not right or good enough to fit into the whole. But sometimes that very person has to face such situation, in an attempt to resolve the social issue he or she may get clumsy and may make a fool of oneself and still smile, uncontrollably, without feeling like smiling. It’s the subconscious way of trying to make up for the personal lacking, but instead of helping getting out of the ditch, it only pushes you further inside.

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