Thank Less

We have constantly been told how saying Thank You is always a good thing. From self-help books to our elders, they all keep reminding us the importance of saying Thank You, but is it really right saying Thank You everywhere?

When you say Thank You to close friends with whom you sit and talk and see daily or stay in touch in strong terms then you push them away bringing a noticeable distance between you and the person. Because saying Thank You makes the whole deed look like it needs a repayment, the way we do to strangers or colleagues or someone who deserves a Thank You in the formal sense, in which case you become a lesser friend with him/her because till then the relationship didn't look for a repayment.

Courtesy: Sean Gladwell

If my friend brings me a candy bar every day and I take it without saying Thank You, it keeps the action, a deed that he should just do, whenever he's got a bar to share. But if I say Thank You then he may start believing what he did was something too special and probably look for a repayment somewhere.

Saying Thank You can be perceived in some other ways as well, it can make the deed look like a favor performed, which can give the person a second thought when again asked for something along the same lines. Like if the janitor at my work place hears a Thank You from me every time he washes my coffee mug, and doesn't receive any such gratitude from the rest of the staff, he may consider the action specifically towards me, something he needs a reciprocation for, even when it’s his job. So if someday, I want him to vacuum my desk corners in the weekend he would be slightly hesitant since I made his regular job of washing the mug a Thank You worthy, it is only natural for him to expect something more when I ask him to go just a tad bit out of his way.

Ultimately it’s also about the person that hears it, it is the way one takes it, some are just so busy doing their jobs that they will understand the acknowledgement with a smile without letting their minds be corrupted by the two worded phrase and thus avoid a realignment of their thoughts about the same action, but some gullible heads get influenced and have a minor behavioral change, exactly for whom this post is meant to be.

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